New Location

I'm closing this up, as in, no longer updating it. Go here, to my new site instead.

Camping

So you want to go "camping" huh? Lets see, just slap some wheels on your house and tow it to somewhere remote. Set up your portable satellite reciever, watch some crap like "Will and Grace" while eating a reheated a tv dinner from your microwave. Then, finally go outside (gasp!) and make a fire with purchased firewood, sit around it for an hour (too smokey, don't want to get smelly), then go back inside to catch the end of Law and Order, and sleep in a bed with a matress and sheets.

That is not camping, that is closer to a boring barbeque in your back yard. These disgustingly big "campers" should banned from camp grounds. Unless you have some medical condition, there is no reason why you should go camping with a camper. Camping is supposed to be a way to escape the life sucking inventions of society and get back (as close as you can) to nature. How can you do this when you're bringing all the nastiness of society with you?

On a related note, we hiked a trail to the beach, despite it being closed due to "High Water". I thought of it as sort exciting. No one else would attempt the trail and here we were sloshing through knee deep black water lurking with who knows what. On the way back we met a family headed in the same direction, and spotting our bare, soaked feet, inquired as to how deep the water actually was. We told them and they (rather, the parental units) decided to turn back and just drive. When given the option of braving a possibly dangerous and flooded trail, what kind of person would decide to drive? A lazy person with a dying sense of adventure!

There are too many of these people around, pulling their 8 ton campers, driving to the beach, and resigning themselves to dull, predictable lives. Don't be one of them.

Tough Competition

What a strange night. We were partying in a massive house with no bedrooms and extremely large hallways and suddenly, we knew. Someone had been murdrered. Murdered in one of the rooms, with one of the giant weapons. It was never clear who had been murdered, or how the murderer was able to heft such massive metal weapons, but all of us there knew someone had. And that murderous someone was one of us.

In our frantic rush to find the criminal in our midst, we began throwing accusations left and right, dashing from room to room. Each time learning a bit more about the crime and getting closer to solving it.

As the night wore on, tempers were running hot. The tension among us was great. We all were narrowing down who the murderer was, what weapon they used, and what room the murder was committed. I soon realized only Ms. Scarlet posed a real threat to me, as Peacock and White were strangely immobile and Green and Plum were asking the wrong questions and not putting the answers to good use.

Scarlet and I were both hot on the tail of the murder, Green and Plum blundering about behind us. She and I were at the top of our game, each clue we found and didn't find brought us closer to the truth. We raced down halls, knowing that what lay around the next corner would bring us to murderer. While we were both matched equally, there could only be one to solve the crime. And both of us desperately wanted, rather, knew, we would be that one.

Scarlet and I stood before the Conservatory. I knew this was where the murder had been committed. If I could get in, I could solve the murder. Scarlet knew this too, I could see it in her eyes. We both made a dash for the room that would yield the truth. My hand closed around the doorknob, I had made it! But my joy was quickly squashed. Right then, goddamn Plum bumbled into me, thoroughly excited at some useless discovery his rotund little body had made. I tried to brush him away, but the man was persistent. I saw Scarlet slam Conservatory door behind her as Plum pulled me away into the Hall. It was over. I had been close, but not close enough. While Plum told me things I had known the entire night, Scarlet solved the crime.

Scarlet plays a surprisingly mean game of Clue.

because it hurt no one

I saw Batman Begins, with fine (actually, very fine) company. Twas a fine film, pretty much everything that can be said has been said (it's good, dark, adult, etc). (SPOILER AHEAD!) I have really only one qualm: how in the hell were Batman and that villan fellow able to stand next to the microwave generator (this thing was vaporizing water from great distances) without being thoroughly cooked?

My thighs are mightier than most tree trunks. Why? I've biked regularly (around 8 miles, 5 days a week) for the whole year (also, many tree trunks aren't that thick). While my current workout is fine, I want to push further. I want to get to the point where I can beat cars during non rush hours, where I can outperform any other mode of transportation for in city destinations. To do this, I've started riding more in the mornings with a chum of mine. Together, we'll grow thigh muscles as thick as redwoods.

If I had grandkids now, they'd be bored out of their minds. I've got nothing to tell them. As of now, my life has been relatively uneventful. This is bad. To begin to remedy this problem, next summer, when OIT boots me from the dorms, I'll rent a shed for my crap, get on my bike, and just start pedaling. Across Oregon. I'll ride off into the sunset, and come back in time for the next fall term to begin. I'll visit friends and family and scenic vistas along the way, have adventures, thwart villans, kill werewolfs, party with shady characters in shady places, and all that good stuff. Grandkids'll love it.

A while back I made a 3 minute movie preview for a class project with some chums. Making that movie preview was some of the most fun I've had, ever. Film production, we found, is intensely time consuming, and intensely fun. To try and relive these glory days, I've begun work on a short story, which I will turn into a script featuring plot twists and snappy dialogue. I'll round up my whole gang of chums and shoot it, edit it, and (hopefully) enjoy it. Should this future film turn out any good, I'll upload it and show you all. That oldmovie preview I've got uploaded already, but there's no way in hell I'm going to show you that.

This is probably one of my longer posts, and I hate long blog posts, mainly because they are boring. So we'll stop this drudgery here and now.

I lied

Because that's the kind of person I am. I know I said I'd number these, but who even cares. First, I will entreat you to a variety of interesting content, to lure you into reading more of this blog and more often:
Best Comics Ever
A Contest Everyone Should Enter
Erm, that's about it. On a related note, things are looking up, and it only rains when I decide to ride my bike.

Should I decide to retreat into the creative wasteland in my brain, I may yield forth more god awful comics. And here's a comic close to my heart.

Normally, I don't watch, play, or listen to crap. However, for the sake of the laugh, I watched El Chupacabra with some friends. It is the worst movie I've ever seen, but hilarious just the same.

And to redeem myself for even mentioning such an abomination as El Chupacabra, go watch the excellent 28 Days Later. It is an extremely well shot film, has a lot of charm and is very intense. I love the British. First the BBC and now 28 Days Later, can it get any better?

I'll let you know when it does.

0

Thinking up titles is tiring, so I'm just going to use numbers. You know, in the name of great justice.

I took the AP Physics C test, or rather, the AP Physics C test shredded my brain and descrated the remains. It's a damn hard test.

Also, I have reached the point in my game programming skills that I can make whatever game I want (save an MMORPG - everyone knows those are impossible). However, the journey I've completed to get me to this point has zapped all the creative game ideas I was flowing with. So here I am, immense power in me, and nothing to use it on.

When I sit down to make a game, and nothing comes to me, I end up playing warcraft 3 (or more recently, Guild Wars - more about that in a future post). This practice is quick becoming a terrible waste of time. So I turn to you, dear readers (the whole pair of you), if you have any cool game ideas let me know. If I feel passionate about any of them, I'll make em.

It was brought to my attention that Hutterites exist in South Dakota. Hutterites! Also, they're SPREADING! What are Hutterites? Who cares.

Gator Attack

I was riding my bike to work, like I do everyday, it's a 2.5 trip through a mild urban jungle, and I was ATTACKED!

As I peddled over the bridge, this rickety excuse for a car pulled up alongside me long enough for a thug in the backseat to throw a full gatorade bottle at me. It hit me in the side and made me wonder about idiocy of humanity. I retaliated as best I could with my middle finger.

But I could do better! I peddled fast enough to catch up with the piece of crap on four wheels. I then leapt on the back of the car, and kicked out the back window. Glass flew everywhere and my fists followed suit. With the thugs in the back dispatched, I knocked out the two in the front, capitalizing on my element of surprise, and took command of the thugmobile. Pulling a high risk u-turn in the middle of an intersection I raced back onto the bridge, braced the unconscious driver's foot against the gas peddle, angled the car towards the bridge railing, and jumped out of the drivers window in an explosion of glass. I am too cool to roll down the window first, or even to open the door.

I rolled to my feet in time to see the bits of metal twist and fly as the car punched through the railing and into the water. I walked back to my bike and headed on to work. No one violently donates gatorade to me without proper repayment.

(Note: only two of the above paragraphs are true.)